A Valentine's love story

CUPID has a no-holds barred attitude when it comes to firing his arrows, and only he knows what makes two people perfect for each other.

And an age difference of twenty eight years didn't make any difference whatsoever when it came to finding true love for Bexhill in Bloom's Sandra Melvin, and husband Francis, for they were to share thirty loving years together before he sadly died of a brain tumour in 2006.

Their relationship also proves that holiday romances can turn into something more permanent, because it was a holiday romance which initially bought Sandra and Francis together - although when the holiday came to an end she believed they would never meet again.

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Sandra, who was born in Middlesex, first met Francis in the summer of 1978 whilst on holiday in Bridgewater, Somerset.

Her first marriage had recently come to an end and she travelled alone to Somerset to have a holiday and recharge her batteries, little knowing that she was to meet the love of her life.

Francis had already been at the resort for a week, staying at the same B&B as Sandra ,and one of the first things the landlady said to her when she arrived was to mention Francis, who was also holidaying alone.

Sandra said: "I'd just arrived and the landlady said, "Francis is here, he's mad", to which I replied, "that's OK, so am I!"

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She added: "Francis and I hit it off straight away, we chatted, and he told me he knew how to cook and wash, and I thought he was a good catch."

They got to know each other during that first week, and when the holiday came to an end they journeyed home on the train together.

But despite having got on so well, Sandra thought it was also the end of their romance.

She said: "When I got home I thought it had just been a holiday romance - I didn't think I'd hear from him again."

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But Francis was smitten, and two days after they parted he rang Sandra '“later telling her that, after they had spoken that day, he'd been so excited that he, "skipped down the prom."

Francis, who was a professional opera singer, predominantly worked in London, commuting from his home in St Leonards on Sea, and for their first official date together he invited Sandra down to Sussex for the weekend.

Sandra said: "It was all very right and proper and Francis arranged for me to stay with friends. He promised me a weekend with country music, sea and candle light, and that's exactly what he gave me."

They dined by candlelight at the now long gone, 'Warrior' pub - which was on the corner of Warrior Square - and ended the evening by paddling in the sea at midnight. Reminiscing fondly about the evening Sandra said: "Everything was perfect."

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That evening was to be the foundation stone for their future together, and despite Francis being twenty eight years older than Sandra it made no difference to their love for each other.

Sandra said: "He may have been twenty eight years older but he looked ten years younger. Age was not a problem and people accepted us as we were so much in love; we were together because we wanted to be."

She added: "I knew almost straight away that he was the one and I think he felt the same about me."

After a couple more trips to visit Francis, Sandra said they both knew they wanted to be together all the time, and they quickly moved in together.

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Sandra was ecstatic: "It was wonderful, I'd gone from a broken marriage, to being on my own for two years, to being ecstatically happy!"

Initially, due to work commitments they lived in London, but within a year they moved back to Sussex, setting up home in Turkey Lane, Bexhill in what Sandra describes as: "My dream house."

And it was at this dream house that Sandra and Francis held their wedding reception, when five years after they first met, they married at Hastings Register office.

Married for the next twenty five years Sandra said their recipe for such a long and happy marriage was to keep the romance alive.

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She said: "We were always laughing together and sharing jokes. All our lives we would leave each other little notes and love poems. We'd always exchange cards and little presents, and we bought each other gifts throughout, and kept the romance alive '“ it's an important part of a relationship."

In addition Sandra said they really looked after each other and Francis was a loving husband in every way. When he retired he took care of Sandra and their home in a way that most women can only dream of.

Sandra said: "I'd come in from work and he'd have everything ready - the house would be clean, and the dinner would be cooked. He'd tell me to go and change and then sit me down with an aperitif."

Their happiness was eventually shattered when, sadly, Francis developed a brain tumour.

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For the next two years of his illness Sandra lovingly took care of him as she didn't want him to go into a hospice.

She said: "When he became ill I was only too happy to look after him. I didn't want him to go into a hospice and, apart from a few days at the end, he stayed at home. I was happy to be there for him and do what I could."

Although Sandra keeps busy with many activities in the local area, including organising Bexhill in Bloom, and helping to run the Bexhill Visitor Information Point, she said the last two years since Francis died have been difficult: "I'm trying to get on with my life. It's been difficult coming to terms with the fact that he isn't coming back. We always knew that he would go before me '“ because of the age difference '“but I was not prepared for him to go and found it very difficult to accept."

Her advice for Valentine's day, and for couples thinking of tying the knot, is not to waste too much time thinking about it.

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She said: "If you think it's right then go ahead, you never know how much time you'll have together. Make it fun and don't miss opportunities."

She added: "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."