Don't it make my blue eyes brown

Because surely those among us who, in the quest to bronze their lily white skin, are injecting themselves with an illegal substance, which will literally tan their hide without the need of a few rays, really must be a sandwich short of a picnic.

The safety of this product, which goes by the name of Melanotan - freely available for anyone to buy on the internet, and in some gyms and tanning salons - has yet to be ascertained in the UK.

Doesn't that in itself unfurl a big red flag, which says stay well away until such time as it is proven to be fit for human consumption?

Without concrete facts that give some idea of what the long-term side effects will be, isn't taking an unapproved drug just asking for trouble?

And an "urgent warning" has been issued by the governments drug safety body the Medicines and Healthcare Products Regulatory Agency (MHRA) saying: "The safety of these products is unknown and they are unlicensed in the UK. We don't know the potential side effects yet which is why we are issuing this urgent warning. Using it could be dangerous to both short and long-term health."

The spokesperson added: "Don't be fooled into thinking that Melanotan offers a short cut to a safer and more even tan, the safety of these products is unknown, the side effects could be extremely dangerous."

In order to achieve the desired effect, Melanotan has to be injected directly into the abdomen; why a healthy person would want to inject themselves in such a way seems like complete madness.

Melanotan, or versions of it at least, has actually been around for approximately fifteen years, available in other parts of the world.

Originally developed by researches at Arizona University, it increase the melanin which the body naturally produces when exposed to sunlight, which then turns skin brown.

So therefore, you could argue, surely a drug that gives an all over tan, without hanging your butt out for hours at a time in harmful UV rays, must be better for you right? And on the face of it, for those daft enough, the process appears easy enough.

Simply go on-line and pay around $400 for your 'kit'.

When it arrives, take one syringe, mix drug with an appropriate amount of 'bacteriostatic' water, swab your belly, stick needle in, inject, and hey presto an all over tan will develop - leaving tan-lovers sailing off into the sun-set, bronzed, gorgeous, and minus the sun-burn and white bits.

What Melanotan actually is, is a synthetic (chemical) version of the hormone, naturally found in the body, which stimulates the release of melanin in the cells when exposed to sunlight.

In one report a British girl in her twenties, who is currently using this product, enthused: "I'm young, I've got a great sun-tan, and I've had no side effects'"

She and other users who have also been raving about it should thank their lucky stars then.

Clearly the product has caused a stir, and many on-line comments have been left on the subject.

'Develop jaundice '“ same effect'.

'Slap on sun block and get your ass outdoors'.

'Is it healthy?'

'Tan injections sound like it can kill you '“ live with your colour.'

'I know someone who's had it done and man oh man it looks awful. For one it looks really fake and now she just looks odd.'

One thing that puzzles me about this product is this '“ you'd normally only expose certain parts of your body to the sun in order to get a tan wouldn't you?

For example you wouldn't open your eyes and stare directly at the sun (well obviously not) hoping to turn your blue eyes brown would you? So, melanin wouldn't normally be produced in your eyes'¦. would it?

Therefore, surely a synthetic drug that's injected and finds itself swirling around all your body, merrily producing a fake tan in every oracle, nook and cranny, is just wrong?

There are reports which claim that some users have had their private parts turn purple... see that's what I mean.

One 23 year old medical student's story, discovered on an internet forum, was very disturbing.

He'd used 'Melanotan 2' for over a year with, "great results", but then developed severe problems with his eyes.

The first was vision impairment, and on visiting an ophthalmologist was diagnosed with central nervous retinopathy (CRS).

The ophthalmologist also discovered that he had a big mole on the choroid (the underlying layer of the retina) of his left eye - prior to this his eyes had always been healthy. He was subsequently advised to "stop taking Melanotan immediately."

He then visited a dermatologist in order to get an expert opinion on Melanotan who said: "Because the choroid contains melanocytes, it will also be affected by Melanotan which in turn may affect the function of the retina."

He added: "The dermatologist also warned me about hormone and skin changes, which are probably not fully reversible even after being off Melanotan for a very long time."

"There are things in life more important than having a tanned skin. Don't put them at risk."

Having a sun-tan is something that, for the best part of the past century, ever since Coco Channel developed a tan whilst cruising on a yacht in 1920, and made it a trendy thing to have, has almost become a double edged sword.

On the one hand the benefits that sun-light affords us is essential to, well basically keep us alive '“ and if there were no great ball of fire for our planet to revolve around both humans, animals, plant life and, well everything would cease to exist '“ although I expect creatures of the night, like bats and rats would have a field day.

Tanned, glowing skin, for the most part makes us look and feel better, giving an impression of being healthy, and with the prospect of a long cold winter before us, pale and pasty (undoubtedly the norm for many of us) probably isn't so appealing.

Many people - especially celebrities '“ won't leave the house without a tan, and, to some, it has almost become as important a fashion accessory as a Versace hand-bag.

We know for a fact that just being out in sunshine boosts our sense of well-being and many people suffer in the winter months from the SAD syndrome.

However, skin cancer is now one of the biggest killers of our time, with malignant melanoma killing approximately 2,000 people in the UK alone each year, and with this thought in mind many people are seeking an alternative to hanging out in the sun for hours at a time.

Victoria Beckham, and other celebrities are devotes of fake tans sprayed on at beauty salons or out of a bottle '“ you just need to be careful not to stain your clothes, or overdo it so you end up looking more tangoed than bronzed.

Health and safety research, guidelines and licensing laws are there for a reason, it's a benchmark to protect us from harmful and potentially life-threatening side effects, those who choose to ignore this expert advice do so at their own peril...and in the meantime be careful what they wish for.