Growing old while waiting for my children to get ready to go for a walk | Kelly Brown

Why, oh why does it take an absolute age to get ready to go out for a walk when there is a small person involved?

Thursday, 18th March 2021, 9:34 pm
Going for a walk   PHOTO: Shutterstock
Going for a walk PHOTO: Shutterstock

It is something which should be easy, right? Something which you can be ready for at the drop of a hat?

Five minutes is the time it takes to throw on coat and shoes and grab a drink - but you can easily add a 0 onto the end of that five if we are trying to jivvy up our children to join us.

When you have a baby you sort of expect going for a walk to be a bit of an organised mission. Not only do you have to pack a bag suitable for a mini holiday but you also have to make sure the pushchair is ready, that the walk coincides (or not) with sleep times and you can always guarantee a nappy change will be needed as soon as you start walking towards the door.

For preschoolers, preparation is needed with the wardrobe - making sure they are suitably dressed in either more waterproofs than an Olympic sailor or enough sunscreen, hats and coverings to visit the Sahara Desert.

But I’ll admit I was less prepared for the near torture required for taking an older child out with you for a walk.

Firstly you have to get over the slightly sulky look of disappointment that you are not suggesting anything more exciting (especially in the current climate) followed by a sigh as apparently they would rather stay indoor like a vampire than actually leave the house.

Then after you give instructions about getting themselves ready you return ten minutes later to find that no, not only have they not visited the bathroom or put their shoes on, they are still in fact sat in the same position and have completely forgotten what it is you asked them to do. (So much for having a bit more independence then.)

When you have finally dragged them to the point of putting on coats (and are now massively hot because you have been wearing yours for the past half an hour) this is the point they decide to ask if their can take their bikes/scooters/duck food or - of course - suddenly become so hungry that they cannot possibly leave the house without something to sustain them.

So your plans for a lovely walk have just resulted in a large chunk of time simply getting old while you wait for your off-spring.

Still - it is bound to be quicker next time, isn’t it?