To whom it may concern.
Thank you for posting your dog waste in this letter box. It has now been sealed by the Post Office and us, the people who used to use this letter box, wish to thank you as you are a small minded person who has nothing else in life to do but put your dog waste in this letter box at the corner of Victoria and Windsor Road, Bexhill.
The person who has done this is very clever. There is a saying about you: I can get more moisture from a dry stick than I can get knowledge from a fool’s brain.