Euro 2016 Bone on the Box: I'm seeing red but it's not a card
Week two approaches on the Bone on the Box sofa and I'm confused.
This is not a state that occurs infrequently, I’ll be honest, but the BBC have really addled my brain this time. It’s the little pitch and round coloured blobs they have taken to showing in order to tell us which formation teams will be playing in.
All was fine with this until they showed the Belgium formation the other night just as I was about to press the red button to see if there was anything more interesting on BBC4.
Suddenly there were more small red circles on the screen than I could cope with and in my desperation to check out alternative viewing options, I think I zapped Jan Vertonghen to within an inch of his life.
Earlier on Monday, Jonathan Pearce almost morphed into a town crier when the Republic of Ireland went ahead against the Swedes. ‘Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes,’ he exclaimed. I think it is supposed to be ‘O yea’ but at least Pearcey did manage ‘O’Shea’ a few times, so he was close.
So far I think I’m preferring the BBC commentaries (I’m not just saying that because Steve Wilson is a fellow columnist for Johnston Press, honest). I’d mark Wilson, Guy Mowbray and Sam Matterface as the best three commentators and Slaven Bilic as the most entertaining pundit so far, even if he did look a bit like George Michael with his short hair, beard and glasses on Sunday.
I wondered what Bilic was doing when he got on to the ITV table when Dmitri Payet scored against Albania on Wednesday night. It’s the highest up the table any West Ham boss has been for years.
Any advances from any of you on those for the best or worst TV performers, anyone?
I reckon ITV are edging the studio sections of the coverage, although I was worried for Pougers and the lads when I saw they couldn’t afford a roof and some walls.
Maybe the network needs to sell a few more ads that they can show up to three seconds before every game kicks off.
Back at MOTD, Gary Lineker is veering into smugness at times while Alan Shearer seems a little confused (perhaps the red blobs / buttons have done for him too). At the weekend he wondered aloud why Harry Kane had been taking England’s penalties (he meant corners). Though if (or when) England do reach their inevitable penalty shootout, it might just be worth asking if Kane can take them all.
Meanwhile I have the answer to what for many must be the Robbie Savage quandary.
Here are the ‘Robbie rules’ to get the best out of the squeaky-voiced former Birmingham City sub: If he’s on TV, have the TV pictures on but the sound down and the radio on. If he’s on the radio, have the radio on but with the sound down and listen to the TV commentary while you watch the pictures.
Another who’s dividing his time between the gogglebox and the wireless is Thierry Henry and it was on Le Radio that he was working for France’s opening-night win over Romania.
When Dmitri Payet scored the hosts’ superb winner Henry said: ‘Sometimes I have nothing to say.’
Err, Thierry, about that money us licence-payers are giving you to give your views on the football...
And finally, I can’t let the column pass without saying how impressed I was with Iceland on Tuesday night.
I got a box of 24 mini pizzas, two packs of 20 party vol au vents and half a dozen raspberry pavlovas all for £4.97. Bargain.
* Tweet your Euro 2016 observations (on the TV coverage or anything else) to @stevebone1 or email [email protected]